Ok, so this picture doesn't really fit the tone of this post... I look full of life and zest here... It is all a facade I assure you. Ha I am just a big fan of pictures with blog posts, so since I try not to take pictures of me non-showered, hair sticking up, etc. (the real me), this is what you get.
So, a few weeks back I turned the ripe age of 31 and I have to tell you, I am feeling old my friends. Now, I am not saying 31 is old, so everyone reading this who is older then me please do not get offended. :) But, like they say you are only as old as how you feel. And I feel old.
I guess having 2 kids will do that to you. There isn't much time to ever get dolled up, and really not a reason to either...since I walk around with spit-up covering me most days, I try to dress down. :) Also, keeping up with 3 boys (including my husband) can be exhausting, and I think this has taken it's toll.
Another reason why I am feeling old, is because of recent life changes. Seasons in my life have come to and end. Change has happened. My grandfather on my moms side passed away last year, and with that a huge chapter of my life has ended. I will no longer go to visit my grandparents in their sweet little white wooden house with the alley in back ever again. I have fun memories of going there as a child... the smell of delicious food coming from my grandmas kitchen... my grandpa sitting in his favorite chair watching tv or working on a cross word puzzle.
These are memories I have that I will greatly miss.
Also, this last year my dad's parents moved away from their florida home to Illinois to be near my aunt. My grandma is in her last stages of Alzheimers and another part of my life will be coming to an end.
Watching both of my parents go through their parents getting sick and passing on has been hard to see, and I know one day I will have to go through the same thing and I simply don't want to.
Another season in my life that is changing, is this will be the first year that I do not attend my family's reunion in Michigan. A lot of my cousins will not be going this year, and it just reminds me that life is changing... things do not stay the same.
So, while I'm feeling older due to all the above, I do have hope, hope that life will bring more seasons of beautiful memories. This is all I can hope for. I have been so incredibly blessed and I'm fortunate that I get to live this life with my beautiful family and friends, and with God by my side.
More posts coming soon.
ox, Jayme
3 comments:
Wow Jay... Life does continue to change, doesn't it.
I have heard life explained this way(and I think it is pretty accurate). The two rails of a railroad track are like life. One rail represents the good things going on and the other rail represents the bad things going on. They are always both there. We need to try to learn and grow from the difficult things we go through and embrace and rejoice over the good things going on. If we do that well life is an amazing journey. Love you!
Dad
P.S. I hope you don't have to go through the loss of your parents for a long, long, time. :)
I've been feeling old, too! A friend of mine said a couple of months ago, "Can you believe we are 31? The teenage boys at the mall aren't checking us out anymore." :)
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