2 and... and...

and a 1/2. *sigh* This week my sweet Niko turned 2 1/2. I have to say that I have dreaded this day. I know this must sound silly as it is only a 1/2, but for some time now I have been thinking, well, he's just 2, he's still a baby, he's not even close to 3. I still have time, I'll potty train him once he's 2 1/2... I'll finally take away his paci/tete once he's 2 1/2... All the while hoping 2 1/2 would never come. Time is going too quickly and I feel I am losing him already. I wish I could freeze him at this age forever.
I would have never guessed being a mama could be so hard... so emotional. A mama spends every hour of the day feeding her child so they grow strong, guiding her child so he learns right from wrong, teaching him to respect others as well as himself, showing him that life isn't fair but we must find the good, the glimmers of hope, and representing the unconditional love that God has for him. By the time a child is grown a mama has put every bit of her heart and her soul into helping her child live and thrive, every ounce of her energy into caring for his every need 24/7. Then one day, they do not need you as they once did. They will hug you only for a moment and never in front of their friends. They will call you, but rarely whisper I love you, I miss you... ahhh... I will miss this age. I will miss Niko spotting me at his school and running with a smile to hold my neck ever so tightly. I will miss him calling my name to tell me, "mama, somin' scary", I will miss him purposely pushing me backwards to the ground so we can laugh and fall together. These are the things I will miss. I can't say I know where to go from here, hoping God helps me along the way to find my role, and to slowly start to let go.

I love you sweet Niko... forever.
Your mama.